“Have you thought about New Year’s resolutions?” I asked my husband recently.
Immediately, I regretted the question because he got that look on his face that said, “Since you bothered me while I was sitting here doing nothing, I am going to give you a hard time by making up stupid answers.”
Aloud he said, “I hereby resolve that I am never going to make any New Year’s resolutions ever again.”
“Oh, come on! When we were first married, you practically turned resolution-making into a fine art. Remember the year you decided to work out more at home? You bought a jump rope and weights, and you rode the exercise bike every morning.”
“Yes,” he sighed, “It almost did me in.”
He turned a page in his book and pretended to read. I knew he was pretending because he had another look on his face that said, “I am going to sit here pretending to read so she won’t ask me any more questions.”
While he sat there thinking of what I assumed would be more smart-aleck answers, I wondered what had happened to change our attitude toward resolutions.
When we were a young couple, we had big plans for each new year in our marriage. We planned children, vacations, home improvement projects and family visits. We embarked on personal improvement ventures, like reading more, walking in the park and hiking in the woods. I noticed that Silent Sam wasn’t moving.
“Hey,” I said, “You haven’t turned a page in five minutes. What gives?”
“I’m a slow reader,” he answered, and turned a page with great deliberation.
I waited another minute, just in case he was really reading before I asked again.
“Don’t you think we should make at least one joint resolution?”
“OK,” he responded without looking up, “I resolve to hang around this joint a lot more in 2021.”
Then he laughed at his own joke.
“You’ve been hanging around here too much during 2020. Don’t you think it’s time to expand your horizons?”
“Yes,” he said thoughtfully. “But if I expand my horizons any more, I won’t be able to fit into this recliner.”
“Great idea!” I said, ignoring his feeble attempt at humor. “We’ve spent way too much time sitting and snacking. It’s time for us to get moving!”
He grinned mischievously and adjusted the footrest on the recliner to the up position.
“There,” he said triumphantly. “Satisfied?”
It’s time for me to bust out the Billy Blanks exercise videos. I can turn up the volume really high.