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LIZ DREIER | Who’s living in my pantry?

What's in a name? From Oscar Mayer to Dr. Pepper, to Mrs. Butterworth to Mr. Clean, there are a lot of famous names hanging around the Dreier household.
Liz Dreier Column 08312020
Liz Dreier

“Can you get the Oscar Mayer wieners out of the refrigerator for me?” I called to my husband as I sipped an Arnold Palmer while heating up the George Foreman grill.

“Sure.  Hey, I didn’t know we had Dr. Pepper,”  he said after he opened the fridge.

“Go ahead and have one. I know it’s your favorite.”

“What else are we having for dinner?”

“Caesar salad, “ I told him.

“Do we have dressing?”

“ I have Paul Newman in the cupboard.”

“Well, you’d better let him out. It’s dark in there.”

“Very funny. Can you grab that for me while I cook?”

“Sure.” Hubby searched the cupboard in vain.

“Where’s the Paul Newman?” he asked.

“On the Lazy Susan, right next to Mrs. Butterworth.”

“Got it! Hey, whatever you’re baking, it smells good!”

“Oh, it’s just a Betty Crocker chocolate cake.”

“ Do we have ice cream to go with it?”

“There’s Ben and Jerry’s in the freezer.”

“Great! Talking about all this food reminds me, do we have anything planned for our company this weekend?”

“Well,” I said, “I might not have time to cook, so I was thinking we could do Asian take-out.”

“That sounds great! The kids would love it.”

“What should we get?”

“How about General Tso’s Chicken?” he suggested.  “What about dessert?”

“I have a Marie Callender Pie made with Granny Smith apples. Or we could have Sarah Lee pound cake.”

“Two good choices.”

“Well, dinner is taken care of, but what should we have for breakfast?” I wondered.

“You know my favorite — Eggs Benedict!”

“That’s worth the time spent in the kitchen. If our guests don’t want that, I’ll make scrambled eggs with Potatoes O’Brien and Jimmy Dean sausage.”

“Now you’re talking!”

“And I’d better make sure I have Earl Grey tea.  Some people aren’t coffee drinkers.” I observed.

“True. What do you have planned for lunch?”

“Lunch? I hadn’t thought about it. If we’re desperate, we can open up a can of Chef Boyardee.”  I laughed.

“Not in this house! You know, I was thinking we might watch a movie together tomorrow night,” he said. “We haven’t done that in ages. We’ll make Orville Redenbacher popcorn. It’ll be just like old times.”

“Maybe we should have some other snacks on hand. You know how our kids get the munchies when we watch movies.” I said as Hubby surveyed the contents of the pantry.

“What’s in there?” I asked him.

“There’s a package of  Famous Amos cookies, Little Debbie snack cakes, and a bag of Baby Ruths.”

“They’ll be gone before the movie is over,” I said.

After dinner, we put the dishes in the dishwasher, bagged up the leftovers and were on the way out of the kitchen when I saw a stain on the floor.

“Oh, no!”  I said, “I must have spilled the Arnold Palmer.”

“Don’t worry,” my husband assured me, “ That’ll come right out with Mr. Clean.”  


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