The Earnheardts | I’m a loser, baby

Like many families, the Earnheardts are an odd and quirky mix of interests, temperaments and world views. This is evidenced by the debates we engage in, many of which pit Mom and Dad’s generation against Generation Z.

Mostly, we enjoy these debates because they allow our Gen Z kids to explore the impact of ideas in the context of something bigger.

To be clear, I used the term “impact” in the previous sentence for a reason. You see, our little Gen Z army would refer to it as “influence.” They’re wrong of course. Gen Zers only think they influence other cultures because of memes. They are largely credited with turning "OK, boomer" into one of the most often used stinging meme-insults of the last few years.

Yeah. Real clever. Reminds me of “Thanks, Obama.”

Then, just as quickly as the insult hit mainstream and became uncool, they abandoned it and moved on to things more obscure and kitsch.

This type of rapid-fire interest/disinterest is typical, but having Gen X parents might hit harder for Gen Zers. The kids are mostly disinterested in Mom and Dad because Gen X is throwaway in the world of memes. Our generation is famous for being ignored. Those who care about generations prefer to examine the impact of large and powerful boomer/millennial cohorts. This is because most boomers and millennials don't mind openly engaging in cultural warfare.

Among Gen Zers, however, it’s almost as if ignoring Gen X has become a kind of unspoken meme in itself.

“Gen X? Meh. Never heard of it.” I can envision a Gen Z kid saying this, followed by “You look like a boomer.”

We do our best to represent Gen X affinity, but the act of being proud of these sorts of distinctions doesn't come naturally for 80s and 90s kids.

Unlike us, our little Zoomers take great pride in the way they’re turning out. The differences can be exhausting, but the slow down of the last year has given me the opportunity to develop a better understanding (dare I say, appreciation?) of Gen Z.

So, in my humble opinion, I posit that Gen Z might just be alright.

Here’s why.

During a long car ride, Mary Beth and I reminisced about popular songs from our youth. This is, at times, a challenge for Mary Beth because she’s not a big music lover like me. But pick a really big hit from the late 80s or early 90s, and she can wax poetically about a boy or a party or some other significant moment in her life where that song and, most importantly, it’s lyrics influenced her life.

Our conversation turned to Beck’s 1994 hit, “Loser.” The lyrics are strange, but we talked about the series of images in the music video (which was in wide rotation on MTV back then). It reminded us of today’s Gen Z meme culture.

“Loser” strikes a chord with me as much now as it did in ‘94. It’s interesting, complicated, artistic, and totally weird. Like totally, man. Totally Gen X. And, we thought, maybe totally Gen Z?

So, after our chat, I tried a strategy that parents have used for dozens of years: I asked the kids to listen to my music.

I wish I could say they got it. I wish I could say the kids sang in unison, “I’m a loser, baby.” I wish I could say they asked us to play it over and over again and gushed about the cultural relevance of a song from 40 years ago. It would be a better story to have a strong moment of generational understanding, of an overlap of fields of experience, of a deep connection to our Gen X past.

But that's not how it went down. They listened out of obligation. Maybe they thought, “If we listen, Dad will buy us ice cream.” No. When the song ended, they peppered us with requests for their music. And, like any good parent, I turned the control to them while I died inside.

Gen Z music is bad. It mostly consists of YouTubers and artists and gamers who string lyrics together with weird jingles that sound more like a music bed for a Skittles commercial than anything in Casey Kasem’s American Top 40.

In some cases, it’s worse. Much worse. They’ve ripped off songs from our past and replaced the lyrics with their own nonsense.

They call them parodies. I call them parasites.

I had found the perfect crossover Gen X/Gen Z song. I mean, what Gen Zer wouldn’t love these lyrics? To those who don’t understand Beck’s references, they sound nonsensical:

You can’t write if you can’t relate

Trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate

And my time is a piece of wax falling on a termite

That’s choking on the splinters.

But when I saw their happy faces in the rearview mirror, I decided to dig deep into my Gen X soul and react in a way the grownups in my life rarely did: I leaned in, but not initially in a Sheryl Sandberg “lean in” kind of way. I literally leaned my old man ears into the speakers to try to discern the lyrics among the poppy top-40-wannabe beats and chords.

Then I found myself really leaning in, physically and mentally. I got over my initial disappointment and started listening to appreciate. I didn’t want to be the irrelevant old person who can’t learn from a new generation. Instead, I chose to open up and try to appreciate Gen Z music.

It wasn’t so much what I heard, and more about my “a-ha” moment.

It was the realization that their songs are just as important to them as mine were to me. Just like late 80s and early 90s music scored the soundtrack of my youth, Gen Z is at the stage of life where music is important. It’s just different (and not quite as good as mine).

In fact, according to Ajay Kalia on Skynet & Ebert, we’re most susceptible to new music in our teens through our early 20s because there are a lot of changes happening in our brains. I was 24 when Beck’s “Loser” hit the radio and MTV, and while that might seem old by musical influence standards, Kalia also found that our brain’s typically stop discovering new music in our mid-30s.

And, well, we started having kids when I was 35.

But maybe the fact that I still fondly recall a song that was a hit when I was 24 gives me hope for my kids who are just now discovering music that will serve as memory triggers for them later in life.

My oldest is 15. My youngest is 8. I estimate this gives me nearly 10 to 15 years or so to influence the soundtracks of their lives. Maybe, just maybe, if I pick the right songs and do it just right, someday they’ll pull up an ancient Spotify road trip playlist I made for them and influence their own kids with the mixtape masterpieces of the totally, radically greatest generation: Gen X.

In that case, nothing would make me happier than three generations of Earnheardt losers, baby.

— Adam Earnheardt is professor and special assistant to the provost at YSU and executive director of the Youngstown Press Club. Follow him on Twitter at @adamearn.

This story was originally published June 28, 2021 at 4:11 AM with the headline "The Earnheardts | I’m a loser, baby."